Daddy: Issues and Complexes
by Glimare
Summary: One Shot: Wally decides to open up the team by saying who has issues and who doesn't.  First are his friends, then the League.  Subject: Dads Pure crack!


**Disclaimer: **So I can talk to dogs, and one told me I could have young justice if I wanted to. if you believe that, then I guess I own it. but science has proven that's impossible. Sucks bad.

Okay, I know I should be working on one or two other fics, but I've kinda hit some dead ends in my head. gonna be a bit til I pull through. so for your viewing pleasure, another YJ one shot! not apart of my continuity, but plenty of crack to go around! About time someone addressed this at least a little.

* * *

><p><strong>Daddy: Issues VS Complexes<strong>

"Okay," Wally started as he pulled the whiteboard in front of the TV. "We've got some very important team building exercises to do!"

Conner tried to look around the whiteboard to the static on the other side, hoping to ignore the speedster. Kaldur merely raised an eyebrow as he broke away from his conversation with Zatanna, who just smiled. Artemis and M'gann stopped their usual chitchat in the kitchen, a batch of cinnamon rolls waiting to go into the oven. Robin looked up from War and Peace (in its original Russian) in total bewilderment.

"Um," Robin started, "I thought Kaldur was supposed to come up with those. Or Canary."

"Indeed, we are," Kaldur started, still curious.

"Details details!" Wally interjected while writing on the board. He drew a line down the center of it before putting Issues on one side and Complexes on the other. Then he wrote **Daddy** in the middle. Everyone froze while he grinned. "Now that I have your attentions, I thought it'd be a good idea to know a bit more about a common sore subject for most of us. Our father figures."

"What?" Conner started, already on the defensive. Wally immediately put the clone's name under Issues.

"No doubts there right?"

"Hold on Wally," Robin started, raising a hand to stop his best friend from digging his own grave. "What exactly are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the redhead looked around the room and the ranging looks of confusion bordering on fury for a few.

"No, it's not," the boy wonder responded. "Explain and pretend no one here is psychic or knows you, at all."

Wally looked around once more, realizing the predicament he walked right into. "Ah. Okay…" He rubbed his head a moment, figuring out how to explain it before the other teen heroes before him.

"Er… I was just thinking… You know how everyone has things they don't want to talk about or sore subjects right?" Everyone nodded slowly, Conner and Artemis' faces becoming more and more angsty by the moment. "Well, I thought, if we all established who has what with one subject, then others could relate better! Like how Supey has daddy issues! I'm sure someone else here does! And then there's Rob and his relationship with Batman—"

"Whoa hold the phone there!" Robin cut him off, pointing back to himself and the board. "I don't have Daddy Issues with Batman."

"No, but you do have a complex." Wally's comment won a few snickers. Robin glowered at him but didn't say a word against it. They didn't know he wasn't his real father after all. Quickly his name was added to the board under said category. "I just wanna know who else has what."

"Add me under issues," Artemis immediately offered. As her named appeared on the board she gave them a brief explanation. "Divorce."

"Ah."

"What about you M'gann?" the archer turned to her green friend.

The Martian looked up in thought for a moment before answering. "Issues I guess. I'm closer to Uncle J'onn than him at least."

"That's too bad," Wally piped in as he wrote her name down. "I bet you would have made a great daddy's girl."

"What about you KF." Robin leaned back in his seat as he turned the tables on him. "Issues or Complex?"

His friend looked up in thought for a moment. "Um… indifferent? Don't hate him, don't smother him with hugs—"

"I don't hug him that much!" the acrobat barked back, his face growing hot in embarrassment. Soft chuckles filled the room. None of them really believed Wally's tales of the dark knight and boy wonder watching a movie in the mountain while cuddling under a blanket. Both were too deep in the crime fighting biz.

Still, they had caught sight of a few PDAs between them. Subtle ones.

"Tell that to the last time you got injured and he carried you home," Artemis teased. She looked over to the redhead again, purposely avoiding Robin's death glare at her. "So I guess you're under issues as well, unless we're talking you and Flash. Then you're definitely under complex."

At this Wally's face grew hot, pleasing the boy wonder. "We're talking dad's here. We'll talk mentors another day. What about you Kaldur? Got any pent up anger towards your dad?"

Their leader froze at the mention of his father, hardly paying attention as Wally put his name towards the bottom of the board where there was no line. For a moment his face darkened, thinking hard about his unknown father. His silence gained everyone's attention, and quite a bit of their concern.

"Issues," Kaldur concluded, keeping his gaze fixed on the ground. "Many issues. Hence why I look towards my King for advice."

"Ah."

Everyone could tell from his heavy silence this was not a subject he wished to expand on. So they all turned to Zatanna.

She gave them a slightly shy smile, with a hint of deviousness. "I'd say complex for me. Dad's all I've got besides my cousins and such."

"Cousins?" Conner asked innocently. The girl magician nodded with a smile.

"You should see Zach some day. He's just too cute!"

"Okay then!" Wally finished putting her name on the board before pulling out his cell phone. "Just one more and then we can move on to the fun ones!"

As he finished selecting the contact and put the thing on speaker, Robin choked on a laugh. "Oh you're not—"

"I so am!" the speedster responded with a grin. The others looked between the two in confusion as Robin kept on laughing.

"You know which one he'll be under Wal."

"This is dads Rob, not mentors."

This won him an eye roll with a few more snickers. No matter what, Robin couldn't tell them Bats wasn't his dad, but he'd never deny the daddy complex towards his real one.

Finally the phone on the other end picked up and a groggy voice answered. "H…lo?"

"Roy!" Wally shouted loudly to wake his friend up more. Kaldur looked towards the ceiling, a laugh in his throat while the others shook their heads in mild amusement. Robin was still laughing like normal. The speedster just grinned. "We're all here in the cave, wish you were too, and thought of a great way to get to know each other better!"

Roy groaned. "Are you all naked?"

A few of them covered their mouths at the suggestion while Conner cocked his head innocently at it. His ears burning, Wally answered. "Um no…"

"Are you drunk then?"

"No," he tried again.

"Then why are you calling me?" the annoyed edge in his voice warned them Roy was a vindictive and very well trained adult capable of ruining their lives.

"Late night patrol?" Robin asked quickly, mostly to ease other people thoughts away from his suggestions.

Roy groaned. "You have no idea. I just got to bed… what, three hours ago? Let me get some sleep streaker. I was just about to kiss… someone…. Dang it! You made me lose my dream!"

"Heh, sorry Roy." Wally looked around sheepishly, but continued on. "Look, it's a simple thing. We're deciding who has daddy issues and who has daddy complexes."

"For the last time," the archer growled darkly, "Green Arrow isn't my dad!"

"We know that dude!" he tried again. "I'm just wondering if you like your real dad to death like Robbie here," Robin jolted at that comment, wondering if he was in trouble, "or have anger management problems because of him too!"

Conner glowered for a moment as Robin settled back into his seat to relax. Just comparing two different sides, that was all.

"We'll cover mentors and us another day," the speedster concluded, trying to ease out of his trial.

After a long moment, it seemed Roy gave in. "Fine. Put me under complex then. My dad was amazing. Wish he were still here."

Wally grinned as he quickly wrote his name on the board. "Sweet! Alright guys! Now for the real fun part!"

"Me going back to bed?" Everyone looked at each other, wondering what Wally was going to say next.

"Not yet. We've got to figure out where the League goes on this list."

Silence filled the room for a minute, then everyone burst out laughing. It was one thing to say what their issues and complexes were, but their mentors and other Leaguers? This was going to be fun.

"Put Ollie under issues and send me a copy of the finished thing tomorrow," Roy stated flatly as he prepared to turn off his phone.

"What about Canary?" Wally asked quickly, jotting GA down.

"Is there a third category?" he asked. "She has a mommy complex last I knew. Her dad was just her dad. Nice guy, but she liked mom more. Good night."

With that the connection was cut and the group was left with an open question. Shrugging, the speedster put BC next to his name at the bottom. Neither complex nor issues. "Okay! What about the others? Mentors first!"

"I'd say Superman's got issues," Artemis offered as she left the kitchen. "I mean, why else would he leave Conner alone?"

"Nah," Robin interjected knowingly. "He's got a complex. Definitely a complex. He's just dense when it comes to this."

"No, it's gotta be issues!" Wally agreed. Zatanna nodded as well and Kaldur gave a half shrug. None of them had spent much time with the man of steel. "Only a man with issues would leave Supey alone. And he's gotta have flaws somewhere right?"

The boy wonder gaped at all of them for a moment, then looked to M'gann as if pleading for some support. She merely sighed, silently agreeing. Robin gave an exasperated huff before throwing his hands in the air, giving up. "Fine! Put him under issues, but remember I said complex if he ever asks."

They grinned impishly. "And Bats?"

"Complex," came his final reply. "Full on daddy complex. Mommy complex too if you have to know. Then we have his issues coming from his complexes."

The team stared at him in amusement before Batman's name flew on the board. "Never knew Batman was that attached to his parents."

"Oh you have no idea," came Robin's rueful laugh as he shook his head. They really had no idea how attached either of them were to their parents.

"And let's just settle Flash under Complex too while we're at it," Wally interjected, turning his grin onto the others. "Started taking on crime because of his old man."

"Put Wonder Woman under the undecided," his friend reminded him. "No dad, so no complex or issues."

"And GL numero uno under complex too," the redhead added. "Um… would Tornado be under complex or indifferent?"

They all shrugged. M'gann raised her voice to offer an answer. "Uh… indifferent? He is a machine after all. And he went against his creator's orders."

"So wouldn't that be issues then?" Artemis interceded.

"He's a robot," Wally reminded her as he put him under the bottom category. "I don't think he can have complexes or issues with anyone. Next, Aquaman!"

They looked to Kaldur again, who merely shrugged. "The previous king was very good according to the tales, but I do not know how he feels about his father."

"Living under a great man's shadow," Artemis stated as Robin shifted in his seat. "I'd say issues."

"Filling his shoes proudly," M'gann offered, "I'd say complex."

"I'd say we don't know and should move on," Robin stated flatly, looking over to Zatanna. "What about your dad? How's the relationship between him and your grandpa?"

Zatanna shrugged, enjoying the show before her as she leaned back into her seat. "Gramps died when I was three. Dad tells me a few stories here and again, but I rather hear about Mom. I'd put him at the bottom with Aquaman and the others. What about Martian Manhunter?"

"Uncle J'onn?" they all looked towards her as she thought to herself and Wally added the names to the board. "Umm… I think he's also indifferent. There's a lot of kids in Martian families you know. I've never met my grandfather."

"Lucky you," Wally started, not caring how the others would react. "My gramps always smelled funny and called me Pete."

Robin laughed. "Mine taught me how to juggle and ski. Still pinches my cheek every time I see him too."

"Cool," his friend concluded before going back to the board. "We're still missing Captain Atom, the Hawks, Green Lantern number two, and Captain Marvel. Ideas?"

"Marvel's complex," Robin offered, not ready to divulge more than that about this particular hero. "The others I wouldn't know."

"Oh, so there's some things you don't know?" Wally teased him, and was quickly rewarded with a pillow to the head. "Hey!"

"I haven't hung out with any of the rest! Have you?"

The others exchanged glances, then shrugged. Conner offered a solution. "Put them under a forth category for unknown. We can move Aquaman there too, and M'gann's uncle."

"That's brilliant!" The redhead concluded as he quickly wrote it all down on the board. Once done, he capped his marker and stepped back to view his masterpiece:

**DADDY**

ISSUES COMPLEXES

Conner Robin

Artemis Zatanna

M'gann Roy

Kaldur Batman

GA Flash

Superman GL1

Capt. Marvel

Wally BC WW Red Tornado Zatara

Unknown: Hawks Capt. A GL2 Aquaman Manhunter

Everyone looked upon their creation with ease, a few smirking at the idea. Before them was a very startling discovery that easily bordered on hysterical. The Boy Scout had issues and Mr. Broody had a complex. Some people were obvious in their positions for good reasons while others didn't make much sense.

"This is just too funny," Robin put in, a grin plastered on his face.

"Wow, we've got more issues than they do!" Artemis observed.

"Correction, we have more Daddy Issues than they do," Zatanna piped in. "And we don't even know about half of them."

"No kidding," Conner added.

"You do realize," Kaldur told them as he turned to Wally, "that they can never see this."

"Why do you think it's on a whiteboard and not a holoscreen?" The speedster smirked broadly as he took out his camera again and took a picture of the board. "I'll send that to Roy later. He'll love it."

"Uh, guys?" Conner turned towards the doorway with a snap. "Someone's here."

Instantly everyone was on their feet and Wally was zooming away with the whiteboard to hide it. M'gann and Artemis went back to the kitchen to put away their half made goodies while the rest straightened the room as quickly as possible. Robin finally put his bookmark in place before setting the book to the side before following the others to the main hall to greet whomever arrived.

* * *

><p>The team was on a mission, leaving a handful of Leaguers in the mountain. A few of them wandered about the place, some going down memory lane. Flash ended up in his old room and found the whiteboard, still covered with their names. After a minute or two of reading it, then laughing so hard he thought his gut would explode, he grabbed it to show the rest of the people there. The first to see it besides himself were an arguing (like always) Superman and Batman.<p>

"Guys! You are not going to believe this!" He brought up the board and let them read the lists the kids made up earlier that day. Both of their jaws dropped in surprise.

"I do not have daddy issues!" Superman insisted as Canary, Tornado and J'onn came in.

"What do you expect them to think with the way you've been treating Conner." Batman quickly went up to the board and erased both his name and Robin's. Revealing to the world they had parent complexes… Was this another one of his pranks?

"This has nothing to do with that!" He persisted as he charged at the board and grabbed the marker still on it.

"Sure it doesn't," Canary commented between fits of giggles. J'onn gave an amused smirk while Flash still shook with laughter. Red Tornado thankfully had nothing to say.

Superman glared as he drew an arrow from his name to the other side of the board. "I love my Pa, and my Father. I don't have any issues with them."

"Just with your son," Batman pursued, leaving the rest of the board alone.

"Stop saying that!" the man of steel shrieked at him, desperate for the matter to drop. He still wasn't used to the idea of a clone, and yet everyone insisted Conner was his son! Behind him Manhunter used his powers to place his name under issues and obeyed Tornado's request to be added to complexes.

"Why? Afraid if we say it enough times you'll actually believe it?"

Before Superman could come up with a retort, the hangar doors opened and he could hear the kids returning. A silent alarm triggered on the screen next to them alerting the others. Using the momentary distraction of the kids' arrival, the most powerful man on the planet fled for his life.

Batman heard him leave, and shook his head in disappointment.

Within seconds the team made it into the room, laughing in pride for having finished a recon mission successfully for once. They stopped in their tracks though when they spotted the five remaining Leaguers and the board. As the two groups' eyes met, Robin pointed to Kid Flash in pure silence. The fastest boy alive only had one thing to say.

"Crap."

END

* * *

><p>AN: heh, liked the list? Just how they are I think, plus the adjustments. Both Bats and Rob have complexes towards their parents, we all know this, plus towards each other. And it looks like everyone else has their own problems.

this isn't part of my usual continuity, just some fun thoughts i had today while working. Enjoy! Will get back to other stories soon! ^^V


End file.
